Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Saturday, October 25, 2014


Shall i forego having a Bestfriend-Lover?

What you should let go of Vitti is the expectation, that you will fnd him, discover that he's the one you've been missing all your life, and the one who'll stay --- in one go. Trust thar similar to your female bestfriends, you will get to know what you are to each other in the worst and most awkward of circumstances. Both of you will quarrel, debate, trade barbs, endure heavy silences, but in each instance, with a growing respect for each other. There is no one go in anything serious  Keep calm. He is manifesting inspite of himself.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Adik sa Alimit

Kapagalan na dai mababayadan
Sakripisyo na bakong oras ang bilang
Mga kulog buot na tadum sa hawak
Para saimo Alimit
Mabuo, magdanay ka lamang

Wednesday, October 22, 2014


Ay sulit
Sa pagal, tiyaga, pag~intindi
Dai man nakua ang gusto
Nagrarum man pagrukyaw
Sa tao, sitwasyon

Monday, October 20, 2014

By the Window

I don't like window seats. They keep me hemmed in, feeling cornered whether beside is a man or woman. But tonight, I just like to sit by the window and look at the vast unknowable dark beyond. As I think about the Daughter crying over goodbyes back home, and The Man who won't take goodbyes this easy.

I Can't Be this Afraid, but I Am

this blog has always been my refuge.  when i couldn't funnel my frustrations, this post helped me cry, once more. this blog is my escape. with this post, it helped me dream, believe, even for a vision not complete. this blog is a witness of transitions as in this post, i welcome another belief, a final reality.

for now, i hang in the balance of how The Man responds, what he refuses not to do, what he will settle for.  we may start all over again, and rewrite the premise. or we get to pause...and ignore the ending this way.

he is very strong, very real, and very frightful to acknowledge one's feelings for.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Calm before the Kill

in playing tennis, there is a moment before hitting the ball that everything stops. breathing halts, the eye concentrates, and even footwork comes to a standstill. before hitting the ball. the coup de grace. the stillness before the kill. and one gets to a certain calm, a fullness in intent. this is what Coach Rollie emphasizes as the perfect stance, the perfect state before hitting a tennis ball. and i wonder, in what ways does tennis mirror life in such proportion? the calm before the crushing blow, before the final embrace, before the last goodbye.

Thursday, October 16, 2014


The rule is this - for any complaint, there should be a suggested solution. Complain as cool as possible and calibrate depending on need and the situation. Anger has a reason. We can shout as much, scream. If you can hold your breath longer, do so. But do not hesitate to show your fangs.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014


The sound of rain
Men's voices
An intersection
Bald men

Monday, October 13, 2014


Someone who's real, and strong, and here.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

My Place

one good thing about having a place of my own is this --- the freedom to not care about clutter. tennis outfit strewn over the bed, papers and books, the mobile and computer just lying in wait on the red sofa. the garbage bag just by the door will be thrown later and the floor, what would a few food bits, fallen hair and a dust load from last week do to make this place ugly?  this is still home for me. home where i can just be me.