Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Friday, October 2, 2015

A Tear for a Yogi

Thank you JC
It is not a mistake choosing you.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Because It's A Sunday

the condo is quiet. the niece is studying by her lonesome in the other room. while i struggle with deliverables on my end, which i do not want to do. because it's a sunday. it's rest day. and i just had yoga. and my feet is raised on the blue futon. and there's a gratitude journal to finish. it's Sunday ok? go home, guilt. go home.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

To Overflow

The cup runneth over
I have the means, enough and more

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

I Remember You

I will remember you.

i learned that you chose to forget by entirely declaring that for you, I do not exist.

it's alright. that is your way of coping with loss. but as i've maintained, right before we separated, your way is not the learning way. it keeps from accepting your weaknesses. it keeps you with your mask on. it keeps you lying.

i hope that the lies that you learned to claim, will not come to haunt you, especially in the present state of your relationship. and in this age.

this is the age of social media. no secret can be kept. there is always someone, some thing, some place, that will shake that resolve of forgetting. you will not know what will hit you.

i really felt so sorry for you. and until now, i still do. i pity you for the choices made just to avoid loneliness. i pity you so much.

again, learn to accept and acknowledge.

i am not going any where

and you have to re-learn forgetting.

i exist as you exist and we existed.

face the truth.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Because I Just Forgot

and so i thought i blogged for the last two days, and not
just as i thought i have to do this thing, leave it for coffee,
and totally forget about it
like how i tend to miss the names of this favorite actor or movie
and just this morning, someone said hi to me at McDo
but i forgot the name that goes with the face
and so i forgot, silly, but i do so more often now
silly, not yet scared though

Friday, September 18, 2015

Where It Takes You

the work at 4am in the morning is not just about writing. like today, with barely an hour before preparations to yoga class, the work was on reading original chapter paragraphs. reading only. to get the feel of where editing will concentrate and which parts are better left culled. this way, i have tapered down around 20% of the word count although the total is still above what Jane requires at 10,000 words a chapter. so today, i end with this. i work again tomorrow, even for just an hour. see what the discipline of daily thesis work, however short, will take you. it took me somewhere sunny today.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Deliverance for my Daughter

it is more than a consolation to know, and be assured that She will not carry these burdens. that in her lifetime, She will not know how it is, how it feels to be lied to, abandoned, taken-for-granted, used, mocked and forgotten. it if took my pain, the burden of it, to relieve her of the same, then i would gladly undergo the cycle of neglect and torment, all for Her.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


I must leave to get back
And although what's left is less than ideal
Still the desire to restart and renew
Bodes of better, meaningful outcomes
Steps will be retraced soon
I am ready.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Crossing the Chasm

sometimes the work of 60 minutes generates just one paragraph - just like today. but that paragraph is enough to free the mind from the prison of transitions. how to go from this section to another, but to do so in a way that bridging a chasm should not be a harried leap, but like treading slowly and delicately over water. the paragraph today did just that. so i am ending today's thesis day happy.

Monday, September 14, 2015

The Dip

Perhaps because it's a Monday. And immediately, had to chair and present
On top of early housekeeping. Need to yoga by tomorrow, get guidance from my young, elusive and spirited yoga master.