Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Friday, July 31, 2015

You Matter

a paragraph will get you somewhere. these are your thoughts, translated into sentences, that connect to more sentences, and form your ideas, your claims, your arguments. all in all they will matter. and so will be you and the book coming out of you.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Do You Talk to Yourself When Writing?

currently doing a TOR cnm proposal on strategy development at work, and of course, the thesis.

it helps to talk to oneself, especially when encountering a wall, or at a stump to write the next great paragraph.

like just earlier, after finishing an inspired section on serendipity at work in Kaantabay, i just could not find the write linking sentence. so i wrote below the paragraph, THERE IS AN OPENING HERE SOMEWHERE. to free my mind. and as if silencing the internal editor, i was able to write a preliminary sentence to transition to the next section.

the same goes for the work write-up. when i get lost in the use of professional language, i write: 'this is what i am about to say?' and just fly off with phrases, often in Tagalog and Bikol, to agree free thoughts from the prison of standards.

so practice, talk to yourself, write those simple thoughts down, in black and white ahead of you, then fly. the discipline is to write. writing is all there is.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Awakening

I was trying to push the limits. Still doubting yesterday's allergy as systemic. So today, against doctor's orders, ate the last batch of leftovers of a chicken dish that i experimented on last Sunday. Chicken cooked with beans, carrots, olives, fresh tomatoes, white onions, garlic, ginger and a dash of rosemary. It was naturally tasty and the beans gave it a homey earthy taste. I just let the chicken simmer so the sauce was pure chicken broth. And so i thought, what harm can two chicken thighs do? And so you bet, i finished up, the whole dish just at half past 7pm. Just in a few minutes, as i was about to wash the dishes, i felt it. My throat was feeling parched, tight. So ahead of time, ten minutes before 8pm, took the steroids and the anti-inflammation meds. Literally ate condensed milk and sugar to contain any other allergic reaction. Then i felt something new, scary. The tightening from the left side of my neck to the upper left shoulder. Then across my chest. Oh my, this is really systemic allergy. And it doesn't feel good. Hmmmmmm. So. Would this be the last chicken dish? The last bite of my favorite - chicken thighs. And is this goodbye? Goodbye seafood. Goodbye eggs. Goodbye chocolates. Goodbye citrus fruits (i don't like you anyway). Goodbye nuts (i will sorely miss you). I want to live longer you see. And each day, from now on, i will treat as a gift. Because i'm alone and without the meds, something bad may have happened, and even worse. So i'm not pushing the limits anymore. I'm not going to put to the test the good doctor's advice. I will wait for Doc Dea to arrive from the US and get a full allergy test. I need to know how to eat and live better with these restrictions. I need to repair and strengthen my immune system. I'm poised to be legend, not history. So then yes. The allergy's systemic. The lesson is learned.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Acer: Bye 2009, Hi 2015*

perhaps it had no more left to give. running on Windows XP and one of the first netbooks ever to be released to the market, yesterday, i bid farewell to my hardy 2009 red Acer laptop - the laptop that has served me during my PhD years in Perth up to now. it still holds my Endnote biblio, where the only choice left, for me, is to purchase an online version. so be it. resources are available and will serve the purpose.

but i will miss it nonetheless. i miss it for all those years. and it proved one thing, Acer is indeed a hardy brand. for seven years, no glitch at all. and is no-nonsense.  when it had no more left, it just expired. that's it. no arte along the way. simple lang.

so after mass today, i will be getting a new one. Acer uli. for the next 7 years and more. PhD and beyond.

I actually bought an Asus Zenbook, 'Susi'. 

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Ilo Praxedes

i watched him ANC's 'Mukha'. he is a child laborer somewhere in a sugarcane plantation up north. i have watched children in poverty but he struck me because at the age of 13, he has stopped believing, he has stopped dreaming. 'ayaw ko na pong mangarap'. and the documentor asks, 'bakit? bakit ayaw mo nang mangarap?'. 'ang hirap po ng buhay.' his answer.

poverty is a curse and for so many times, after witnessing the poverty of children in Jolo, Sulu sometime in 2008, i thanked the Lord for bringing me into a middle-class family that was able to put me to school and deliver on the conditions that made me dream and fulfill my dreams, one by one.

so in the next 44 years of my life, Ilo has made me dream again.  But this dream is not for me, or my family. these dreams are already guaranteed. I go out of my self to dream for children and youngsters like Ilo. I will endeavor to build the conditions for their dreams not to fade, ever. i am doing this now through charity and an advocacy work for battered women and their children. and I will do much better, one child at a time. the House of Hope is being built as I write and dream and do.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Yanti

a very good friend of mine from graduate school is seriously ill with cancer. got the news today through a friend. it's hard to feel fine. like i absorb the pain and it has no chance of lifting. but as my hands worked on the letter, i felt the spirit surge as i nudge 'You will be alright. You will be alright. You will be alright.' and indeed she will be alright. either way, she will be alright.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Writing the Intro

i tried to forego it. based on the advice of other researchers to write the Intro of any chapter of the thesis, last. but no, writing it today, fidgeting over it, since last week helped me with structure. so now, tomorrow, i can proceed with the rest of Chapter 5. i am in Chapter 5, Chapter 5 Thank God!

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Threshold

I have proven enough. Worthy of what will come, has been heralded since by the Universe. I believe in full. My Dad in spirit guiding every step. I face the future with calm, accepting anger only as an emotion and no longer a choice. It's been heralded ever since. And I move on. Pass the past. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I live my Highest Purpose every day.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Justice from Above

I Claim all These. I thank the Universe. For the Good, the Fulfilling, and the Flourishing. Now. Now is Everyday!

Monday, June 29, 2015

Cleansing

i have no other explanation.

shit happens in relationships. the devout wife still gets abused, emotionally and psychologically. the young committed wife gets stabbed in the back with lies. the single woman left no choice but to read a book rather than go out with haplessly immature self-centered men.

just refuse to wallow in shit.