Influences (or Why I Write the Way I Do)

Natalie Goldberg (free-flowing writing)
Clarissa Pinkola Estes (wild woman writing)
Jane Hutchison (direct-to-the-point writing)
Ernest Hemingway (simple words writing)

Saturday, April 18, 2015

An Unforgetting Past

perhaps it's his one last attempt to the one who got away. me. still mystified by the kiss, after more than two decades. looked for two years. naniningil ng two years wait in facebook. and so what if i resurfaced only now? this will not dent his plans. no matter what, the road is still paved for him and his bride. but still, a man he is. and me. i am no longer one lonely woman.

Friday, April 17, 2015

So Many Me

i am many animals.
pig, horse, tiger, eagle
i could be more complicated
than having four types of soap
i am coming full circle
someday, i will just burst
and overwhelm,

Friday, April 10, 2015

First Day

close to lunch, just set up the work station, set-up a system for keeping and locating files, and dealt with the concerns of a team member.  then, the first series of meetings.  then, a long talk with the Wise One. so this is how it is. i need more time in a day. i need more productive time. i need to huddle down, and work.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

She Reconsidered

she admits, going 360. changing her mind, a position once firm. unaffected by undying affection, time, the presents, the endurance. so when he came in person, perhaps attempting a short visit, she can't help but be taken. by the attention, the breath of hope, and that semblance of a love suddenly taken from her, three years ago. so now, she's giving herself a chance. another go at believing in the words, the presence, the trust - his. i see myself in her. but the results may come around differently. she will be happier if she gives herself time to really unravel. that what is inside is love that can not only take and relish but also endure, accept and forgive.

Friday, April 3, 2015

The Good Dad on a Good Friday

Good Friday April 1 was when we lost Daddy to his first heart attack. He nade misua with fish for lunch and was listening to the Seven Last Words over the radio. I still wonder what life would have been with Daddy still around.  He would have turned 65 by 10 May. Set to retire perhaps at Forbeswood.

I imagine the good times, the best times. Oh, the movies he missed. From the Lord of the Rings to Ocean's Thirteen and Argo. He and Mom will love BGC. Walking in the morning and group aerobics at 9th Avenue. He will discover Starbucks but will love CTBL, like me. He might still be writing, consulting. More at ease, controlled with his temper. Perhaps we'll get to know more, become acquainted with the other one. 

Now Daddy is in heaven. Good Friday will not be the same since 1994. 

But still. I love you Daddy. I miss you. You've been great. A real good Dad.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The Luxury of Nothing

rest, rest
no deadlines, no alarm clocks
ahead is reading, massage, swimming
more time with the daughter
just breathing in home, my first home

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Abode

So the Bank is the decision point
And I wait with strategy and conviction
You will be mine, My Dear Abode

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Yes to What Is

i say Yes, you are owning this condo
You are investing in stocks
You are increasing your net worth

Believe. Believe. Believe.
And Work with Passion for it.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Time, Mine

today, i had buffet lunch all alone. before, i had a buffet friend, or call a friend; normally, Cora when she was still here in the philippines.  i just took it slow. enjoyed the food at City Buffet where, of course, the buffet is not as diverse, mouth-watering and fulfilling as Heat at Edsa Shang or at Galleria.  perhaps i had 10 helpings in all. alternating eating, standing and getting helpings.

then here at home, for the first time, browsed through Good Housekeeping mags, the back issue dated as far back as May 2014. ah, terrible. but i did it. almost after a year.

so here i am. with a condo all lighted up. made deliberately messy but still chic. two travel bags, plastic bags with indigenous gabi and green peas. two more issues of GH amd self-help books on the blue sofa.

all this time until tuesday next week is mine. just mine to keep and spend. Thanks for Holy Week. And thanks for the Wise One for granting me this.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Coup D'├ętat

They know just where to hurt me. So even I was surprised as tears gushed with the Wise One on the other end. After weeks absorbing denial, insult, put-downs, treachery. Tears that perhaps boded the timing, might have been the decision point to turn the rising tide of error, poor judgment. I will clear my mind of all these, just as tears released the pain and frustration of weeks.